Shipping, shed and Christmas shopping update

Good moaning from the shed.

I’d like to say we’re working today, but the baby Jesus says ‘no’ to shenanigans on a Sunday and instead we are cleaning up after Nev and AB had a ‘massive’ rave party in a child’s paddling pool that Flat Stanley found at the tip and brought back to the shed.

Reprobates

Between the identified reprobates they demolished three cases of Antifascist Ale and a bottle of Gin. The paddling pool this morning was full of generally unknown or unsubstantiated substances, but we were able to identify three pairs of Y-fronts, a pair of which (we know from bad experience) actually belong to Penge based pop-tart DJ Marzipan. The Pantry & Barbecue sub committee have written to DJ Marzipan’s wife asking if she can verify his whereabouts yesterday.

Late, again

A day later than promised, the Northern Republic snoods arrived yesterday and were sent out along with the badges.

On the question (were you to ask) of late deliveries, we are very proud to announce that a limited but beautiful amount of our stock is now being held by our very handsome friends at White Trash Clothing in Germany.   I tried to get on their website this morning, and couldn’t, but they are there and on instagram under @whitetrashclothing161. Check them out if you are based in Germany (114 of you are), this should help ensuring your Christmas is not held up by Royal Mail.

Christmas Shipping
As you are aware, most of our stock is made to order (well, T-shirts and hoodies are) so we do advise once more that to ensure your delivery in time for Christmas, you should aim to put your order in by no later than 1st December (UK and Ireland). For elsewhere, it should probably be last week. Due to the ongoing COVID limitations, we can make no guarantees. Deliveries to the US are rated as “difficult” but we’re still sending.

Top Sellers this past fortnight

1: TUFAC Antifascist Ale
2:  Northern Republic Christmas Cards
3. Badge Special Offer
4. London 0 Gin 4
5. Northern Republic Gift Pack

Signed Books

A couple of people have asked if we can still get copies of Nazi Terrorist signed by the author.

Apparently we can as he lives close to the shed. We have 14 copies left. Orders in to us by next Weds will be signed by him that same day and dispatched that afternoon or the day after. Just let us know in the notes who it is to be signed to. To speed this along, there’s a 10% discount code when you enter SIGNEDBOOK at the checkout. Valid only until Weds …

Party for the Partisans 


This has sold out. We are now (fingers crossed) working on the stream for the day. Again, we can’t stress enough how brilliant the raffle prizes (open to everyone) will be. Fans of Paul Heaton for instance….

Exciting news for next year

There will be no new stock this side of 2021 (although Nev has a new T-shirt design to go).  This does not mean we are not making plans to keep upping our quality and standards. There will be a new, sexy polo shirt and another set of brilliant socks to keep you happy in the new year. These represent a large investment but it is one we are happy to do because back in the day, when we asked your opinion, that is what you wanted us to do.  On the issue of socks, they sent a little man to measure DJ Marzipan’s wide size 10 feet and will be widening the fit for other fat, flat-footed size 10 types.

As soon as lockdown is over, DJ Marzipan and AB will be heading to Portugal to get absolutely wankered, spin some discs at a Saga Holiday Resort and sign off on the new products before they are shipped to us.

We need your help

Some of us are a little old. As hard as we can try, we cannot master the Facebook Ad. We spend loads of money, but they look shite and don’t seem to work. Is there anyone out there that can master this dark art? I’m not overly keen, but DJ Marzipan and Flat Stanley swear blind it works. They masturbate a lot, so that is sign that they know what they are talking about. Can you help?

Wanna do a design, or can we print for you?

If you have a design or a coldsore, we’d like to hear from you. The Herpes and Benevolence sub committee are prepared to print T-shirts for your gang, football team or even digging circle if you want them to. We’re also open to new ideas. Don’t be shy, or racist. Get in touch. Remember, it’s brandalism or barbarism.