Goodbye old friends, FLASH SALE, Pantomime cancelled etc

For those of you who follow the ‘minnows’ of the beautiful game, this weekend shall no doubt be a mixture of confusion and sadness:

The above guidance on football attendance probably makes you wish you never got promoted last season. As it happens, we here at TUFAC Towers are definitely on the side of scientists and those who specialise in keeping others safe and sound. We’re not fans of those in tin foil hats who think and prophesize Jews are lizards that can kill you, but a deadly disease that kills the aged, infirm and disproportionately people of colour, can not. Or that it simply does not exist. And ffs, either get your conspiracy theories to match, or feck off.

Strong and Stable Genius

These conspiracy muppets will sit at home with a tin foil hat on their head, but not go out in public with a face mask. Get to feck! Anyway, enough ranting.

Thoughts and prayers from the shed this morning when Nev heard the President of Gilead and the Commander’s missus, Mrs Waterford,  had the non-existent virus. Thankfully the strong and stable genius is getting the sort of top-notch health care his tax dollars paid for. How very sad it is that other tax payers- those who earn less but pay more than the President, cannot get such health care themselves.

Hopefully a few intravenous doses of bleach will clear the virus out of his system and he can get back to running the Death Star and Mrs Waterford can herself, get back to running the dysfunctional brood of parasites that is the first family.

Goodbye old Friends

We’re not ones for sentimentality or seafood here at TUFAC Towers. Meat is murder, don’t you believe? Anyway, after getting bladdered until the early hours of this morning at our annual naked twister and baby oil board meeting, we decided to do away with some of our range. It was emotional. Either that or AB had baby oil in his eyes. The following items will no longer be with us after Sunday:
Love Football Hate Fascism T-shirt, Antifa Soup T-shirt, Fred Berry Antifascist Bag, TUFAC Cargo shorts, Bella Ciao T-shirt, Workers’ and Peasants Airfleet T-shirt. 

They were all great designs and ideas, but sometimes they just gotta go. We wish them all the very best in whatever they decide to do with themselves. To give them one last ‘hurrah’ we’re giving 15% off each of them until midnight this Sunday. Simply enter GOODBUY at the check out if you fancy. We’ve also added the beach towel and the tea towel to the 15% off. Valid until midnight on Sunday (UK time). that’ll be about tea time in the US and last Wednesday afternoon in Australia…

The Going ‘Out-Out’ Polo

This sexy polo has sold very well, but the waiting time for this fine product is longer than we expected/anticipated/were told by the embroiderer.  As you know, we try not to hold stock to cut down on waste and rental space in Nev’s sister’s back bathroom, but the bloke doing them for us recently got a Netflix subscription. To be fair, we just think he’s a delicate genius. Anyway, we advise if you want one for Christmas, to get your order in before the 20th October.  We plan to discontinue them until after Christmas. The product is too good to change suppliers, but the wait is murder. Like meat.


Poor AB will not be the arse-end of a horse this Christmas. Damn you, Covid!! If anybody fancies theatrical, thespian herpes, he’s available for hire.

In the Post/Back of the net

The Steve White & The Protest Family football shirt should be hitting the post office later this evening/early tomorrow. It’s another cracker!! And by the way, those clever swines have just released a new long player.:

It’s not really available on vinyl, that’s just a clever marketing ploy by a woman called Samantha who used to play the spoons in the Troggs. No, it’s available on Compact Disc and it’s full of loads and loads of cracking agit- pop punk-folk music about wankers, bankers, Boris, Nev’s underpants and other stuff. They’re the best thing we’ve seen in Walthamstow since the spunk bubble Tommy Robinson and his collection of degenerate Nazi gammon got battered and run out of town some time in 2011.

Anyway, we like this band. You can purchase, and should purchase their latest offering (only took the feckers’ four years) from them here. This album has no doubt cost them a few bob and with there being no gigs, this means no money to pay for it. Not everyone’s as lucky as that Ian fucking Brown, you know…

Fans Supporting Foodbanks

The shirt is now in production. We raised £571 for them. If we have a good month, we may even make it £1000.

That bit at the end

It’s Socialism or barbarism. Keep safe, keep covered up. Be kind to strangers. Fuck fascists.