First of all, we won’t be mentioning Dominic Cummings in this email. We think it would be unfair to mock the afflicted.
Though to be fair, we do think he is a bit of a tosser.
Towels and vodka
As I write this, for some reason HRH Prince William is on the tellybox talking about how we will all have to suffer a little more once lock down is over. I’m currently sending my kids to his Palace to ensure he really gets the full benefit of parenting during and after lock down. My kids will purloin enough for all of us. We’re just waiting for Cummings to get his arse and Range Rover into gear and pick them up.
The good news for all of you in England is that you can meet up in your gardens from next week. Why not also try someone else’s while you’re at it?
I was making the most of my garden today, resting my body on the sun lounger and swigging Molotov Vodka straight from the bottle. It’s not that I think I’m hard or anything, but if I find an Englishman in my garden next week it’ll be a fight to the death for the sun lounger. So as you can see, with excellent product placement, I have placed our towel to claim it in advance of an invasion of in-laws behaving like outlaws carrying cheap lager..
James Connolly played left wing for Ireland
Now, the success of our Peru Antifascist football shirt was phenomenal, sickening, unprecedented, worrying, disturbing and somewhat anticipated. Since then we’ve had a number of suitors wanting us to sex up their football shirts. We refused. However, we are now proud to launch in conjunction with Belfast Cuba Support Group, the James Connolly football/soccer shirt for pre-order. Strictly limited to 50, we are doing a pre-order now for ten days only. The anticipated delivery to you from then, will be mid July.
The Belfast Cuba Solidarity Group are people who campaign and educate in solidarity with Cuba and most importantly, against the sanctions imposed by imperialist governments against the country.
James Connolly, for those who do not know, was a Scottish Socialist and Trade Unionist who agitated for workers in Scotland, in the United States and finally, in Ireland. He was executed after the Easter Uprising of 1916.
The hotly anticipated and frustratingly late TUFAC key ring has finally been located in Norway- according to the tracking device, anyway. Why they’re in Norway I don’t understand. It’s £10 for a pint there, but I guess it’s still better than going to a Wetherspoons. If they are not here by next Weds I promise I will flare up worse than Nev’s haemorrhoids.
New T-shirts & Discount
And that’s it for this week. Like I guess many of you, even me with my good looks and great wit, can feel the pressure of this lock down. Today and yesterday I have really felt it.
Alcohol will not help. But I’m sure giving it every opportunity to have a go at it.
Look after one another and your neighbours. It’s socialism or Barbarism.
p.s. Thanks to Alan, whose picture in one of our T-shirts we stole from his twitter.