Good moaning, lovers
First of all, let me wish you all a very happy new year. Unless you’re a member of the cabinet, you’re probably going to be stuck indoors this evening.
We did think about throwing one of those on line New Year’s Eve parties for you, but the mere thought of AB’s genitals pressed against the computer screen put us right off that idea.
Nev is back in the shed after an adventurous Christmas. As a special offer to you, the two new T-shirt designs he thought up here and here have 20% off until one minute to midnight tonight when you enter the code NEWYEAR at the checkout.
AB soils the sock pics
There are many potential uses for socks. Ask any fifteen year old boy. Here at the Trade Union Football & Alcohol Committee we prefer (these days) to just wear them over our feet.
Now, we are aware that Christmas is a time for giving socks and so we may appear a little late to bring out a new set of TUFAC sports socks. They are however, magnificent. And also appallingly photographed by AB who is still stuck in Tenerife after his Saga holiday to Portugal and whirlwind appearance as Christmas entertainment in the Canaries.
Apparently he “met” a lass from Wigan who is also a performer. The two of them are planning a trip to Iceland and then after that to Tescos. If AB ends up moving himself and his herpes in with this poor lass, future badges and nude selfies will be sent to you from Wigan Pier of all places!
The socks are available to you, for one week only, reduced by 15% when you enter the code SOCK at the checkout. These are beauties and so the poor photography (once again) by our art school graduates is most disappointing, but expected.
As part of our commitment to bring you fresh, sexy, affordable products, I can confirm there will be two more potential and magnificent additions for your wardrobe coming out this month. On behalf of the pregnancy and factory sub-committee, I am instructed to praise Tom “the dog” Lover, DJ Marzipan and AB on some quite magnificent work in ensuring we keep our promises. All jokes about Tom going dogging aside, this month as well as sexy socks, we have two more top of the range products coming out. I tell you no lies, when I tell you the gear on offer will be top notch, top of the range quality merch. You wouldn’t find it on Peckham market! We are forging ahead with our own branding and I can also confirm we use the same European manufacturers as Adidas and the antiracist Tennis player.
Want some free gear?
We have an antifascist polo shirt you will all want and love, followed by a magnificent and sexy sweatshirt on their way (allegedly). To prove our point, we are advertising (here) for a house model. We don’t care of your sex, colour, religion, sexual persuasion or size. But if you can get yourself photographed looking decent and professional (ish) in some of our future sexy gear, get in touch and let’s make a deal. You get photographed in our gear and we’ll make you infamous. (Previous applicants [AB] need not apply). But we are serious…
The pic below is the sort of thing we like. Chris from Croydon got his mum to take it on her Iphone when they were off to get him some new shoes for Christmas. Keep up the good work, Chris.
Also, we still need a little help with doing some of our online advertising. Get in touch if you can help us.
Many of you ask how our unqualified legal counsel, Kerry, is getting along. Shortly before Christmas she crossed the Irish border to pick up some crisps and sell some contraband cider. If you are planning on taking any kind of legal action against us, please wait until the pissed-up princess resurfaces on a picket line somewhere, soon.
We’re re-launching it mid-month
That bit at the end
These should be exciting times for us. Great year last year, lots of money donated to great causes, magnificent new product coming etc, etc. What a brilliant and fun learning curve it is for us at our ages. But of course, COVID continues to haunt and terrorise us all.
Quite genuinely, members of the TUFAC committee openly expressed sadness and loneliness to each other on our zoom call last week. Grown men, with families and other commitments, genuinely missing one another and each other’s company and expressing it to each other. I’m not sure if I did mention in the last missive or not, ,but DJ Marzipan and his wife (both key workers) were struck down with COVID in early December and the emotions were real and genuinely sad that in their time of need there was not much we could do but send them alcohol and flowers. We didn’t actually send them alcohol or flowers, but the intentions to do so were quite real.
Trust in science, trust in medicine. We have a pandemic and the disease of conspiracy to conquer together. Be kind to strangers. Let no good deed go unrecognised.
It’s Socialism or Barbarism.